Life Perceived by Me

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on January 1, 2013

A new year. Many new experiences await us with lessons so fresh in our minds. What are we going to do with this new start. Are we going to make the same mistakes of yesteryear? At times its difficult not to trip up and fall back into old habits. Habits that may not be so conducive to the health of the mind, body and soul. Our intentions might be positive but our body enjoys the comforts of the already trodden paths. To walk the paths less traveled upon, the roads may be rocky but the destination is well worth the work. Or do you choose to stay on the comfortable path worn down by the many? May we choose well.

Now I know that his year is full of promise and I need to make some changes in my life for my sake and the sake of my offspring. Our beautiful children need us at our best. At my best I think I am not. Patience please bless yourself upon me, unnecessary stress begone and mindless worries of things I haven’t any control over please excuse yourself from my mind to allow room for more pressing issues. Such as how to make a smile spread across my daughters face and toothless-open mouth grins show on my sons.

2012, did I learn anything? Tons! The first year of your child’s life is over with in a blink of an eye. All those sleepless nights, each diaper and messy feeding…enjoy it because next thing you know its running around the house, starting to build forts and learning new words by the dozen. The first thing that happens is they just don’t need you as much as they did before and for me it was just so quick, now in nineteen days she’ll be two years old. When did that happen?

I also learned that birth control can be a big joke. Thank you Nikolay Nathaniel born on July 2012 for teaching me that. Our beautiful accident, our pleasant surprise. He’s taught me a great deal. I learned that “baby blues” or the mild form of “postpartum” depression is okay. It ends and I am positive he still loves me after it all. Six months later, I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. Oh yeah and pitosin is the DEVIL!

I grown to realize that I am thankful for my odd relationship with my mother, it works. We love each other and nothing will ever change that. We respect one another in ways no one else may ever understand but that is okay because no one else needs to.

The end of 2012 was a memorable one, not for the best of motivations but memorable just the same. Family of mine, with all its interesting facets we sure know how to band together during rough times. A death of a loved one is one of the most difficult things to experience. Although we can’t protect one another from the pain of such a loss, we can band together and support one another along the path of grief.

One bad event seems to welcome others but at no point did we all disband with anything but love in our hearts. The loss an intense pain but the love of the living much more pressing.

As my small nuclear family walks into the new year a calm washes over, a relief spreads as we close the door to 2012 and open the sparkling, jewel adorned doorway to 2013.



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