Life Perceived by Me

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I’m feeling “22”

Am I the only one that didn’t get the memo about how special being in your 20’s is suppose to be?  I can’t help but think of that song that is out titled 22 by Taylor Swift. With the pre-chorus and chorus that goes

“Yeah we’re happy, free, confused and lonely in the best wayIt’s miserable and magical oh yeahTonight’s the night when we forget about the heartbreaks, it’s time
Uh oh, I don’t know about you but I’m feeling 22. Everything will be alright if you keep me next to youYou don’t know about me but I bet you want too. Everything will be alright if we just keep dancing like we’re 22. 22″

I don’t remember feeling like that at any specific age. Did I miss something? Not that I feel like I actually missed out on any thing, I am perfectly content and even happy (on most days) with my lot in life. Maybe not exactly how I got here but where I am, I don’t think I would have changed that.

At the same time I feel like there was an entire stage that I skipped over. I hear all this stuff about how its weird that I am so settled with myself. How I am not still searching for who I am and what I want to do. Not that I have the entire world worked out but I am seriously content just surviving and watching my children grow. I don’t have big dreams.

My reason for not having huge dreams of new stardom isn’t because I don’t think I would be able to achieve it but because I am not looking for anything. Yet when I was in my twenties I wasn’t looking for it either. I only wanted a happy family. I only wanted to have people around me that didn’t make me feel stupid and inferior or learn how to actually interact with those people without allowing them that power.

Maybe my goals were different. I don’t understand.

Well I hope the 20’s are as much of a joy as they make it seem. Truly however the indecision and totally unstructured manner being in your 20’s seem like is no different then being in your teens. I didn’t like that stage so maybe its a good thing that I skipped the 20’s angst’s to.

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