Life Perceived by Me

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Frustration & Friendship

Has this month been a pain?

Well yes it sure has!

Do I want it to hurry up and come to a close?

YES … YES … YES! 

This month has been stressful with some days ending in sobs. I have been so depressed in these last weeks that I know if it wasn’t for my beautiful children and this little girl in my belly I would be mentally unstable enough to need medical assistance. However as much as my family is the cause of my victory over this crappy month its also probably part of the cause. Pregnancy sure does make  a woman feel out of control of her emotions and unable to find a decent middle ground.

Yet as much as this month has yielded me trouble and stress I think I have made some friends. I met some wonderful people this month. I love it when new and wonderful individuals walk into my life and paint my bleak looking canvas with bright beautiful colors. When this takes place I am reminded how wonderful the world can be even when most of the time it doesn’t seem too wonderful.

Out of this crazy month good has come of it. Even in the bleakest of moments there is a sparkle as long as you look hard enough and sometimes, you don’t have to look hard at all!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Overwhelming, Stressful, Beautiful Life

Overwhelming, stressful beautiful life….I don’t even know if words exist to explain how I feel. Everything is in conflict. I love my family and I am so blessed to have my children. Everyone is in as good health as circumstances mostly out of our control, allow. Really I have no right to have complaints. Yet I am feeling conflicted.

Have you ever had to decide which responsibility takes precedence over the other? Trying to connivence myself that everything can be placed in its proper place, compartmentalized and sorted, I just have to work harder. Think harder, be smarter and be superwoman, super-mom, super-everything. I am guessing that these thoughts might be a bit on the unrealistic realm of things. Possibly, maybe just a bit you know, expecting too much from my human self. *sigh* Why can’t these superhuman skills, attributes that I am sure I possess just reveal themselves when they are needed. I chuckle  at this fantasy. I am not so delusional, although at times I think being such could be a comfort that I’d enjoy, even just for a time. Maybe the comfort would do more good than harm. Providing a mental reprieve in a time of troubled thoughts. I know I am not alone with these thoughts. Am I?

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